Secret Change Agent: Part 1

BS”D



“I know I could make a major transformation in my life if only I had a secret change agent to help me.”

How many times have you made that statement? If you are like most people, you’ve probably never said it. But that’s not the point. You now have a forum in which you can ask a secret change agent any question you want. If your question is selected, you can find the answers right here.

The following is a dialogue from “Not Yet Likable”.

Not yet likable: Can you make people like me?

Secret Change Agent (SCA): If you want me to coach your family, friends, and work associates to like you, that is possible, but it will be very time consuming and not very cost-effective. However, I can help you become more likable.

Not yet likable: How?

SCA: For starters, I would stop carrying silverware in your pockets. It makes people nervous.

Not yet likable: Okay. Consider it done. What else can I do?

SCA: Focus more on giving than taking. Listen more than you talk, and avoid ending every sentence with a question mark.

Not yet likable: Really?

SCA: No, really!

Not yet likeable: Can you tell me more?

SCA: Please rephrase that.

Not yet likable: Sorry. I would like to hear more.

SCA: Our attitude towards ourselves and others is crucial. Respect and honor yourself and your will end up doing the same for others. Go through your day thinking about how you can help others. Remember, people are not to be exploited for your benefit. Help others even if you get nothing in return.

Likeable: How will I know that I am more likable?

SCA: Why don’t you tell me?

Likable: I guess when people respond to me in a more friendly way.

SCA: I agree. More importantly, when you like yourself more, other people will respond accordingly. You will have created a more likable personality. Being likeable begins with the relationship with yourself, but will extend to the outside world in a natural way.

Likable: Thanks.

SCA: My pleasure.



Ben Goldfarb may or may not be a secret change agent. To find out, send an email to ben@standupcommunications.com, with the code words “Delta Delta 7” in the subject line.

Relaxation Attacks: Don’t Become the Next Victim

According to my undisclosed sources, 9 out of 6 Americans suffer from Relaxation Attacks. Left unchecked, frequent Relaxation Attacks could become a permanent part of our personality and translate into a long-term feelings of gratitude, calm, and a sense that life has meaning.

Before we let the unthinkable occur, let’s discuss how to recognize the symptoms, extricate ourselves from the attacks, and prevent them from happening in the first place.

Recognize the Symptoms

Relaxation Attacks often occur suddenly when you are in the midst of a stressful activity such as existing. You might feel your breathing slow down to an almost normal rate, your prolific perspiration stop and a burning desire to write a five-year plan to improve your life.

Take Action

If you are in the midst of a Relaxation Attack, take these steps immediately:

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• Take several shallow breaths
• Visualize the worst possible scenarios occurring to you in the near future.
• Distort positive memories from your past into your worst nightmares

Before you know it, you will be back to your default state of angst and existential crisis.

Prevention

If we take a few minutes to changes our daily habits, we will be able to significantly decrease our chances of having Relaxation Attacks.

Physical

Avoid exercise at all costs. Aerobic exercise produces endorphins that make us feel good and could trigger a Relaxation Attack. Letting our body go to seed will keep us in a state of pessimism that acts as a natural inoculation to Relaxation Attacks.

Spiritual

Take 20 minutes in the morning and the evening to complain about all that is missing in our life. Make sure to ignore all of the billions of gifts that are showered upon us every second of every day. If a thought of gratitude crosses our mind, gently shrink it down until it disappears forever.

Professional

Take a job that makes the most money even if you hate it. Develop horrible time management skills so you can work overtime and rarely see your family. Rinse and Repeat each day until retirement.

Social

Keep your thoughts to yourself in your relationships. Assume that your spouse or significant other knows what you are thinking and get angry at them when they don’t respond to your unspoken needs and wants. Anger often leads to depression which is a great barrier to Relaxation Attacks.

By educating ourselves, we can reverse the statistics. Perhaps we will someday live in a world where only 7 out of 6 Americans suffer from Relaxation Attacks. By helping ourselves, we are lending a helping hand to the global community that answers to the name of Earth.