According
to my undisclosed sources, 9 out of 6 Americans suffer from Relaxation Attacks.
Left unchecked, frequent Relaxation Attacks could become a permanent part of our
personality and translate into a long-term feelings of gratitude, calm, and a
sense that life has meaning.
Before we
let the unthinkable occur, let’s discuss how to recognize the symptoms, extricate
ourselves from the attacks, and prevent them from happening in the first place.
Recognize
the Symptoms
Relaxation
Attacks often occur suddenly when you are in the midst of a stressful activity
such as existing. You might feel your breathing slow down to an almost normal
rate, your prolific perspiration stop and a burning desire to write a five-year
plan to improve your life.
Take Action
If you are
in the midst of a Relaxation Attack, take these steps immediately:
·
- Take several shallow breaths
- Visualize the worst possible scenarios occurring to you in the near future.
- Distort positive memories from your past into your worst nightmares
Before you
know it, you will be back to your default state of angst and existential crisis.
Prevention
If we take
a few minutes to changes our daily habits, we will be able to significantly
decrease our chances of having Relaxation Attacks.
Physical
Avoid
exercise at all costs. Aerobic exercise produces endorphins that make us feel
good and could trigger a Relaxation Attack. Letting our body go to seed will
keep us in a state of pessimism that acts as a natural inoculation to
Relaxation Attacks.
Spiritual
Take 20
minutes in the morning and the evening to complain about all that is missing in
our life. Make sure to ignore all of the billions of gifts that are showered
upon us every second of every day. If a thought of gratitude crosses our mind,
gently shrink it down until it disappears forever.
Professional
Take a job
that makes the most money even if you hate it. Develop horrible time management
skills so you can work overtime and rarely see your family. Rinse and Repeat
each day until retirement.
Social
Keep your
thoughts to yourself in your relationships. Assume that your spouse or significant
other knows what you are thinking and get angry at them when they don’t respond
to your unspoken needs and wants. Anger often leads to depression which is a
great barrier to Relaxation Attacks.
By educating
ourselves, we can reverse the statistics. Perhaps we will someday live in a
world where only 7 out of 6 Americans suffer from Relaxation Attacks. By
helping ourselves, we are lending a helping hand to the global community that
answers to the name of Earth.
