When I was in the seventh grade, I found myself in a potentially life-threatening situation. One morning, five Mexican-Americans cornered me in an empty classroom at my public junior high-school in El Paso, Texas. Apparently, my fellow students wanted to give me a crash-course in First Aid. By the looks on their faces, they didn’t want to educate me on how to help an injured person, but rather, they wanted me to become one.
I tried to explain to them that both Jews and Mexican Americans are persecuted minorities. I was only in this school, and in America, for that matter, because the Romans had destroyed our Holy Temple in Jerusalem close to two-thousand years ago. The Jewish people have been enduring a bitter exile, and both the Mexican-American and Jewish communities are suffering from prejudice and racism. They looked at me as if I were speaking broken Spanish. In retrospect, I can understand their perception because I was speaking broken Spanish. My message was not getting across to them and their hatred towards me was escalating.
At the last moment before they started to rearrange my face, G-d gave me a great idea. I started reciting Hebrew prayers out loud. Keep in mind that I had no idea what I was saying. I could have been reading a Hebrew advertisement for a new shopping mall, but this gang was so freaked out by the sounds of a foreign language that they dispersed almost as quickly as they had stalked me.
When I compare and contrast my 7th grade experiences, with those of my daughter, Ariella, who was born and bred in Israel, I am completely blown away. I was raised in an environment of rock concerts and rodeos, and she is immersed in a school with Rabbi Kook philosophy and field trips to the Western Wall.
Please keep in mind that I have no regrets about where I come from and how I was raised. I am grateful for everything. It contributed to the person who I am today, and gave me the tools to become the person I am destined to be in the future. I believe that everything that happens to us happens for a good reason, and G-d is running the show for our ultimate and eternal good. I just feel fortunate that I was able to have raised my children in a city that has the highest spiritual standard of living in the world, that is, Jerusalem, the holy city.
The Rabbis tell us that there are 36 righteous people in every generation. My wife and I have the privilege of raising four of the 36 in our own home. Each of my children has heard me call them Tzadik or Tzadeket thousands of times and the reasons why I feel they live up to that title. But for now, I want to focus on Ariella.
I remember while growing up there were various cliques with whom I had daily contact, namely, the brains, the jocks, the nerds, the cowboys, the freaks, and the socialites. G-d blessed me with the ability to seamlessly interact with all of them while not becoming any of them. I believe Ariella has that gift as well.
Ariella possesses and nurtures multiple intelligences. She is book smart without being a nerd. She is socially intelligent and practices more diplomacy and tact than many adults whom I know. Kind and good hearted, yes she has the savvy not to let people push her around, take advantage of her, or use her as a doormat. She is a gem, and a treasure who can fight back if the situation calls for it.
Ariella knows how to balance many of the inherent tensions and conflicts that occur in everyday life. For instance, she has a very sophisticated sense of humor, and nonetheless, she still laughs at her father’s jokes in order to observe the commandment of honoring her parents.
She has the voice of an angel, the heart of a saint, and the brain of a scholar. Do I sound like I’m proud of her? I am. I am grateful as well.
Here are some thoughts that I want to share with my daughter today.
1. Say thank you for everything. Constantly thank G-d for both the revealed and the hidden good that He bestows upon us constantly.
2. Learn and practice faith and trust in G-d and in yourself. We can learn about faith and trust from English Grammar, namely, past perfect, present perfect, and future perfect. It’s all good. If the situation was supposed to be any different, it would be. G-d is all good. He gives us what is best for us, and when we no longer need to learn the lessons embedded in the hidden good, then we are bestowed with more revealed good.
3. Do your best to make this world a better place by loving more and contributing with both your physical and spiritual effort. You can and will make a difference in this world and partner with HaShem to do just that.
In the spirit of gratitude, thank you for choosing me as your father. Thanks for being the person who you are. I will always love you. If I criticize your behavior from time to time, it is only because I think that you can do even better than you are already doing, which is, to use the vernacular, awesome. You, as a person, are eternally good and my love for you is unconditional.
In the crazy world we live in, in a place where there is no shortage of “not-yet positive” behaviors from individuals and countries, the simple love of father to daughter, daughter to father, our love for G-d, and HaShem’s love for us, makes it all worthwhile. With this love, all of reality makes perfect sense; past, present, future, through eternity and beyond. I love you Ariella Sara. Keep up the good work and play. Mazal Tov.
bzahavi7@gmail.com
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