Co-directing our lives

Imagine we have been recruited to co-direct and star in a major motion picture by one of the top directors in Hollywood. Despite our lack of experience, we are presented with an amazing contract. Our friends, colleagues and lawyer all advise us to sign on the dotted line. We follow their advice and take the job. A chauffeured limousine arrives at the studio to take us to the set. We get out of the car and find ourselves at the door of our own home.

Whether we know it or not, we all are called upon to co-direct and star in the film of our own lives. If we have already assumed this role, there might be room for improvement and we can fine-tune what we are already doing. If we haven't started the job yet, it's never too late to begin. Who's our co-director? The Almighty Himself.

Unlike most jobs, however, we have free rein with our job description, our hours and our work strategies. Our co-director might seem like a silent partner at times, but that is His way of giving us creative license.

We have to ask ourselves what we want to see in our film. Is the film we are envisioning similar to or different from our current life and to what extent? Our life may already be working well for us, and we just might need to modify some elements of it.

A crucial element of our movie is selecting the genre. We lead complex lives and play many different roles, so we probably will employ different genres depending upon the time of day and the context in which we find ourselves.

Here are some guidelines:

Raising children
Communication with our children often falls under the genre of FOREIGN (without subtitles). We may want to take some steps to aim toward the FAMILY category.

Marriage
Married life is often peppered with DRAMA and SUSPENSE. When appropriate, we may want to try some ROMANTIC COMEDY to lighten things up once in a while.

Profession
If we find ourselves in a job that is reminiscent of HORROR, then we may want to aim towards the direction of ADVENTURE.

Goal setting
If we see our dreams, hopes and aspirations as existing only in the realm of FANTASY, we should take some practical steps to move them into the world of DOCUMENTARY, BIOGRAPHY or REALITY.

Once we have a clear idea of which genres we want to employ, we must decide if we need a change of scenery, some new co-stars, or perhaps a major rewrite of the script. We owe it to ourselves to dedicate some energy and resources to create a plan of action with a time frame.

It is within our reach to co-direct a film that embodies our essence and resonates with our soul. We can give ourselves permission to enjoy the journey. We can celebrate each success along the way. We have the opportunity to learn from minor setbacks, stay focused on the larger picture and keep the momentum going.

Accepting the job of co-director is an opportunity to live a full life, realize our potential, and deepen our relationship with God. We need to write the script well, choose our co-actors wisely, and make our transitions between genres elegantly. Remember, we want to create a film that we would be happy to pay good money to see, and even invite others to watch with us.


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Ben Goldfarb was born and raised in El Paso, Texas, and is a graduate of the University of Texas at Austin. He moved to Israel in 1988. He divides his time between his yeshiva studies and his coaching practice. His life calling is to help others understand their personal mission and accomplish it with humor, creativity and spirituality. He lives with his wife and children in Jerusalem. His book "Double Feature" will be published in the winter. For more information about his coaching practice, visit the Paradigm Shift Communications website, or send an email to ben@pdshiftcoaching.com. © Copyright 2007 by Ben Goldfarb.