Pushing your own buttons

My prayer often has the excitement and fervor of the fine print on an insurance policy. As much as I try to increase my concentration in prayer, my results are often disappointing. Due to a congregant's congestion during a recent visit to the synagogue, the quality of my prayer was about to change forever.

Recently, I was blessed with amazing concentration during the morning service. I was so involved with my praying that fellow congregants were using me as a coat rack and I didn't even notice. However, my prayer high was destined to be short-lived.

Just as I sensed that my supplications were ascending to the Heavenly Throne, my prayer was brought to a halt by a fellow Jew's common cold.

I was close to having the best prayer experience of my life so far, when I heard a fellow Jew sniffle repeatedly. I couldn't help myself as I began to descend back to the physical world.

Why couldn't he just use a Kleenex? Every time he sniffled, I started tumbling down from the highest spiritual places into the banal, material world.

Why couldn't he use his shirt? Use my shirt, I thought, just let me pray in peace.

I then I realized that this interruption was only a test. I was wondering how I was going to pass this one.

I was given the chance at this moment in time and space to transcend being a stimulus- response creature. I'm not a single celled organism, so I don't have to have a single response to any stimulus. I was given the insight at this juncture that I can actually choose my responses.

Instead of this holy Jew's sniffling destroying my concentration, I was going to reprogram my brain and cause his nasal issues to enhance my prayer.

Every time the guy deals with his runny nose, I made a conscious decision that my concentration is going to increase exponentially.

And you know what? It didn't work.

However, with some practice, this strategy ran like a well oiled machine.

Every time he sniffled, my concentration was elevated by a few notches. I was transcending the physical world and enjoying the most intense prayer I ever experienced. I felt as if my soul had been elevated to the most sublime spiritual heights.

And then it happened. The guy got a Kleenex and blew his nose. He stopped sniffling. I was stuck.

I had become dependant upon his stimulus. If he didn't sniffle, how could my prayer get any higher?

It then occurred to me that I had made myself dependant upon him and his runny nose. His sniffling should neither distract nor enhance my prayer. I can push my own buttons, and not let others do it for me.

So I was able to finish my prayer on a very high level and use this strategy to other prayer services both during that that day, and in the future.

I have been liberated from letting others push my buttons, in and out of a praying context. However, I always take some extra Kleenex with me to the synagogue just in case.

Ben Goldfarb was born and raised in El Paso, Texas, and is a graduate of the University of Texas at Austin. He moved to Israel in 1988. He divides his time between his yeshiva studies and his coaching practice. His life calling is to help others understand their personal mission and accomplish it with humor, creativity and spirituality. He lives with his wife and children in Jerusalem. His book "Double Feature: A Nostalgic Peek into the Future" will be published in the spring. For more information about his coaching practice, visit the Paradigm Shift Communications website, or send an email to ben@pdshiftcoaching.com. © Copyright 2007 by Ben Goldfarb.