What do choosing life partners and running companies have in common? Besides the obvious components such as quarterly reviews, marketing, and advertising, there are some surprising elements that the two share.
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Perhaps the most obvious thing the two have in common is the hiring process.
If you headed the Human Resources Department of a large company, would you approve the following recommendation for a new hire?
Candidate is under-qualified and lacks motivation to learn new skills. He is desperate for work and will settle for any job at any salary. His CV reflects a scattered employment history and he badmouths his former bosses and places of work. However, he has a nice smile and we think he will be lots of fun at office parties.
Unless you want to be on the unemployment lines yourself, you would never hire such a candidate.
Yet when choosing a life partner, we think it's okay to settle for a "fixer upper". We allow our rational decision making process to be influenced by looks, money, or a date's knowledge of music trivia.
I'm not saying there's no place for romance. I'm as romantic as the next guy, as long as I'm sitting at a truck stop in Deming, New Mexico. I don't like to brag about my romantic escapades, but on more than one occasion I've invited my wife to come with me when I go bowling with the guys. I even let her keep score sometimes.
Marriage is more like starting a corporation than a never-ending date. Finding a marriage partner should be no different than hiring a Vice President for a large and powerful company.
Husband and wife are like the VPs of a global, multi-generational organization. They deal with economics, transportation, conflict resolution, and industrial waste, especially when the kids are in diapers. You don't want to trust this level of responsibility to someone whose only redeeming feature is that he can quote entire episodes of "The Sopranos" by heart.
The metaphors we chose when selecting a life partner are crucial. Instead of seeing yourself as a rehab unit, start visualizing yourself as a successful start-up merging with another proven business concern. Otherwise, you may find your new corporate entity filing for bankruptcy after its final office party.
Ben Goldfarb was born and raised in El Paso, Texas, and is a graduate of the University of Texas at Austin. He moved to Israel in 1988. He is the founder and director of Paradigm Shift Communications. He has given seminars and training sessions at Israel Aircraft Industry and Philips Medical Systems. His book, "Double Feature: A Nostalgic Peek into the Future" will be published in the spring. He lives with his wife and children in Jerusalem. For more information about his coaching practice, visit the Paradigm Shift Communications website, or send an email to ben@pdshiftcoaching.com
© Copyright 2007 by Ben Goldfarb
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