Every weekday at 11:00 A.M, Monday through Friday, three retired professionals used to meet at the same café in Manhattan. They passed their time complaining about the government, society, and the inefficiency of the post office. After they ran out of things to critique, they paid their bill, left a hefty tip, and went home to their wives, who had some complaints of their own. But thanks to the FBI, today was going to follow a different pattern.
Peter Hart was the ringleader of the malcontents. After the preliminary discussions about which prescription drugs they were taking, which of their friends had died or was playing dead, Peter would chime in with his favorite line, “If I were President of this country, things would be a hell of a lot different.”
The other gentlemen, ex-patriots of England and Israel, took their cue and swore that if they were the Prime Minister of England and Israel, respectively, the entire free world would have a different look and feel.
Just as Peter was talking about the soaring price of crude oil and how he could make the US less dependent upon fossil fuels, three men in black approached their table.
“Are you Peter Hart?” one of the men said.
“Yeah, what’s it to you?” Peter answered.
“Please come with us. The three of you are under arrest,” the man continued.
“For what? Over-tipping?” Peter said and started laughing.
The FBI agents retained their stoic expression. They displayed their FBI badges and one of them began reciting the Miranda rights.
“Spare yourselves the right to remain silent garbage. I’m a retired lawyer. You’ve got nothing on the three of us and if you leave now, I won’t sue your boss,” Peter threatened.
“The sooner you cooperate, the sooner you will get back home,” the taller of the men said like an annoyed camp counselor.
“And if we refuse?” Peter asked.
“You will be resisting arrest, and things will get a little sticky,” he said. “You and your friends can leave the café with or without handcuffs. We’ll have you back home in a few hours.”
“If I were president of the US, law abiding citizens wouldn’t be hauled off by power hungry FBI agents,” Peter said.
The cantankerous trio cooperated reluctantly and left the café amidst the stares of customers and waitresses.
They were escorted into a waiting SUV, and drove for a few moments. Before they got out of the vehicle, they were blindfolded. When their blindfolds were removed, they were sitting in a movie theater.
“I’m going to win this lawsuit. You guys don’t stand a chance. I’ve got years of experience fighting the big guys,” Peter said.
The assistant director of the FBI walked out on stage. “Sorry for the inconvenience, gentlemen. You’ve been chosen to take part in a simulation,” he said.
“Chosen without our permission,” Peter said.
“It’s all legal. The FBI has lawyers too, you know,” the assistant director said.
“So what’s this all about?” Tom, the British ex-patriot said, uttering his first words since the ordeal began.
“Using our sophisticated computers, we are simulating a world in which Peter is the President of the United States, Tom is the Prime Minister of England, and Uri is the PM of Israel,” he continued.
“We made a list of your strengths and weaknesses and compared them to the current men in power. We then extrapolated what kind of world we would have if the three of you were in charge,” the assistant director said.
“Don’t you have better things to do with the taxpayers’ money? “ Uri, the expatriate Israeli asked.
“We see this as a worthwhile investment,” he continued, “Anyway, we selected various factors to judge your success in your respective offices: Economic benchmarks such as cost of living and inflation rate, statistics on violent crime, and the number of terrorist incidents. Let’s take a look,” he said and the lights dimmed.
Three films played one after the other, with various economic, social, and postal statistics flashing on the screen.
The men witnessed press conferences with each one of them behind the microphone, spewing out powerful rhetoric. While their new world order had increased rights for the elderly, government subsidies for high fiber foods, and increased efficiency at the post office, the world still looked and felt the same.
“What exactly is the point of this virtual nonsense?” Peter asked.
“We just ran the film. The interpretation is up to you. Thanks for your time. We will take you back home now,” the assistant director said, and he walked off the stage.
The three men hibernated for a few days. They didn’t make their 11 o’clock meeting at the café for a full week. After some intense sulking, Peter made a few calls and the dynamic trio was up and running again.
Peter reasoned that history was a complex interplay of Destiny and human effort. Their toil seemed to be a condition, a pre-requisite as it were, as opposed to an actual catalyst for change.
Even though the three of them couldn’t change the world as heads of state, they were convinced they could make a positive impact on their corner of the universe.
The next week, the group met at the cafe, but for Sunday brunch and with their wives. On Monday and Thursdays, the three volunteered at a soup kitchen to help put real food in real hungry stomachs.
On Tuesdays and Wednesdays, each man went to a different inner-city high school to volunteer for a mentoring program. Fridays were designated for some self-indulgence involving poker games, cigars, and bowling.
The three men had learned a great deal from their FBI experience. Their complaining quotient decreased and their well being increased even if their letters still arrived late.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
A match made in K-mart
Sam was a disgruntled K-mart manager going through a mid-life crisis. Nancy was a feminist social worker who was unaware that the 60s were over. From their meeting at a modest bastion of retail America, they were destined to change their views on marriage and music.
Nancy just finished shopping for the battered women at the halfway house where she volunteered. The women were comprised of drug addicts, teenage runaways, and shoplifters. The irony wasn't lost on her as the shoplifting alarm went off.
She was escorted into the manager's office by Jon, the assistant manager. The alarm was ringing in her head like the cacophonous droning of a Country & Western singer who genetically mutated into a train whistle.
Jon's dream was to be a policeman, but for some reason, the Police Academy kept refusing his application. Perhaps catching this shoplifter would be his lucky break to jump start his police training.
Nancy was equipped with an internal guilt meter. When she tried to lie, she would start laughing and give herself away. Stealing wasn't part of her vocabulary. She was enjoying the adrenaline rush of being a shoplifting suspect and committed to savoring the experience.
Sam was irritated when his cell phone went off. Fourth shoplifting of the day, he thought. When was he going to have time to micro-manage and intimidate his employees if he had to keep interrogating shoplifting suspects? Willie Nelson never had to put up with these things.
His mood shifted dramatically when he saw Nancy. He absolutely, totally, and uncontrollably fell in love with this remnant of Haight-Ashbury. Nancy had fire in her eyes and humor in her soul. Perhaps he could break his vow of never marrying again.
Nancy was moved by Sam's gentle aura, but she protected herself by repeating her favorite mantra: "Marriage is State-Sanctioned Slavery."
"Hi, I'm Sam, the manager. I understand there's some kind of problem here," Sam started.
"I'm Nancy. There's no problem at all. I was just curious what a K-mart manager's office looks like. Your assistant manager was kind enough to let my dream come true," Nancy said.
Sam smiled, but Jon kept his G.I. Joe vigilance.
"Should I call the police, boss?" Jon asked.
"Jon, chill out. You know our machine malfunctions occasionally," Sam said.
"Yeah, but not this time. I found the stolen goods in her purse," Jon said, proud of his due diligence.
Jon put the "evidence" on Sam's desk. The bag was filled with men's items that a feminist wouldn't dream of purchasing for either gender.
Sam and Nancy began laughing. Jon didn't share in the mirth.
"Jon, do me a favor and go wait on some customers."
"But, Sam...," Jon whined, picturing yet another rejection letter from the Police Academy.
"Now. This moment. Go." Sam insisted.
Jon left, disappointed that he couldn't notify the local police force of his exploit.
"Nancy, you are the victim of the oldest shoplifting trick in the book," Sam said.
"Would you care to share with the rest of the class, Sam?" Nancy asked.
"The real shoplifter plants stolen goods in the bag of the customer in front of him. The alarm sounds, and the real thief walks away in the ensuing confusion," he explained.
"I see. Well, at least I got to see your office. I'm not sure if my life can get any better than this," she said.
"I'd like to present you with a $100 gift certificate to make up for your bad experience this afternoon," Sam offered.
"How about if you keep the coupon and we go out for a cup of coffee instead," Nancy said.
Sam's eyes lit up. "Let's go. I'll let Jon run the store for a while. Maybe he'll find some real criminals while I'm gone," Sam said.
And thus their romance began. Six months later in a Las Vegas chapel, their single lives were officially upgraded to State-Sanctioned Bliss.
Although he grew up on Country & Western, Sam started listening to Nancy's music and became a connoisseur of 60s rock.
Nancy learned about capitalism as she spearheaded the K-mart internship program where her halfway house women worked afternoon shifts at the store.
Sam's mid-life crisis had turned into a mid-life opportunity as he took an active role in the internship program. Although he couldn't get Nancy to listen to more than one Country & Western hit a day, he did help her realize that capitalism wasn't all bad.
Jon was accepted to the Police Academy on a part-time basis. Back at K-mart, he began dating a 20-year-old recovering alcoholic who worked in sporting goods. She taught him a thing or two about forgiveness, giving the benefit of the doubt, and state-of-the-art scuba diving equipment.
Ben Goldfarb was born and raised in El Paso, Texas, and is a graduate of the
University of Texas at Austin. He moved to Israel in 1988. He is the founder and director of Paradigm Shift Communications. He has given seminars and training sessions at Israel Aircraft Industry and Philips Medical Systems. His book, "Double Feature: A Nostalgic Peek into the Future" will be published next year. He lives with his wife and children in Jerusalem. For more information about his coaching practice, visit the Paradigm Shift Communications website, or send an email to ben@pdshiftcoaching.com
© Copyright 2008 by Ben Goldfarb
Nancy just finished shopping for the battered women at the halfway house where she volunteered. The women were comprised of drug addicts, teenage runaways, and shoplifters. The irony wasn't lost on her as the shoplifting alarm went off.
She was escorted into the manager's office by Jon, the assistant manager. The alarm was ringing in her head like the cacophonous droning of a Country & Western singer who genetically mutated into a train whistle.
Jon's dream was to be a policeman, but for some reason, the Police Academy kept refusing his application. Perhaps catching this shoplifter would be his lucky break to jump start his police training.
Nancy was equipped with an internal guilt meter. When she tried to lie, she would start laughing and give herself away. Stealing wasn't part of her vocabulary. She was enjoying the adrenaline rush of being a shoplifting suspect and committed to savoring the experience.
Sam was irritated when his cell phone went off. Fourth shoplifting of the day, he thought. When was he going to have time to micro-manage and intimidate his employees if he had to keep interrogating shoplifting suspects? Willie Nelson never had to put up with these things.
His mood shifted dramatically when he saw Nancy. He absolutely, totally, and uncontrollably fell in love with this remnant of Haight-Ashbury. Nancy had fire in her eyes and humor in her soul. Perhaps he could break his vow of never marrying again.
Nancy was moved by Sam's gentle aura, but she protected herself by repeating her favorite mantra: "Marriage is State-Sanctioned Slavery."
"Hi, I'm Sam, the manager. I understand there's some kind of problem here," Sam started.
"I'm Nancy. There's no problem at all. I was just curious what a K-mart manager's office looks like. Your assistant manager was kind enough to let my dream come true," Nancy said.
Sam smiled, but Jon kept his G.I. Joe vigilance.
"Should I call the police, boss?" Jon asked.
"Jon, chill out. You know our machine malfunctions occasionally," Sam said.
"Yeah, but not this time. I found the stolen goods in her purse," Jon said, proud of his due diligence.
Jon put the "evidence" on Sam's desk. The bag was filled with men's items that a feminist wouldn't dream of purchasing for either gender.
Sam and Nancy began laughing. Jon didn't share in the mirth.
"Jon, do me a favor and go wait on some customers."
"But, Sam...," Jon whined, picturing yet another rejection letter from the Police Academy.
"Now. This moment. Go." Sam insisted.
Jon left, disappointed that he couldn't notify the local police force of his exploit.
"Nancy, you are the victim of the oldest shoplifting trick in the book," Sam said.
"Would you care to share with the rest of the class, Sam?" Nancy asked.
"The real shoplifter plants stolen goods in the bag of the customer in front of him. The alarm sounds, and the real thief walks away in the ensuing confusion," he explained.
"I see. Well, at least I got to see your office. I'm not sure if my life can get any better than this," she said.
"I'd like to present you with a $100 gift certificate to make up for your bad experience this afternoon," Sam offered.
"How about if you keep the coupon and we go out for a cup of coffee instead," Nancy said.
Sam's eyes lit up. "Let's go. I'll let Jon run the store for a while. Maybe he'll find some real criminals while I'm gone," Sam said.
And thus their romance began. Six months later in a Las Vegas chapel, their single lives were officially upgraded to State-Sanctioned Bliss.
Although he grew up on Country & Western, Sam started listening to Nancy's music and became a connoisseur of 60s rock.
Nancy learned about capitalism as she spearheaded the K-mart internship program where her halfway house women worked afternoon shifts at the store.
Sam's mid-life crisis had turned into a mid-life opportunity as he took an active role in the internship program. Although he couldn't get Nancy to listen to more than one Country & Western hit a day, he did help her realize that capitalism wasn't all bad.
Jon was accepted to the Police Academy on a part-time basis. Back at K-mart, he began dating a 20-year-old recovering alcoholic who worked in sporting goods. She taught him a thing or two about forgiveness, giving the benefit of the doubt, and state-of-the-art scuba diving equipment.
Ben Goldfarb was born and raised in El Paso, Texas, and is a graduate of the
University of Texas at Austin. He moved to Israel in 1988. He is the founder and director of Paradigm Shift Communications. He has given seminars and training sessions at Israel Aircraft Industry and Philips Medical Systems. His book, "Double Feature: A Nostalgic Peek into the Future" will be published next year. He lives with his wife and children in Jerusalem. For more information about his coaching practice, visit the Paradigm Shift Communications website, or send an email to ben@pdshiftcoaching.com
© Copyright 2008 by Ben Goldfarb
Monday, July 07, 2008
Eliminating the "W" Word
It’s time to stop using the word “Why”. Unless you are a philosopher or an immigrant from a polysyllabic country, there is little reason to keep asking “Why”. Do a search in your brain for “Why” questions that don’t motivate you to take action and replace them with “How” questions.
“Why” is often used to make excuses and overuse of the word can lull us into victim mode. Here are some typical why questions:
Why didn’t I get that job?
Why did I sell those stocks?
Why does that man keep staring at my wallet?
Why questions tend to be a complaint that either nature or nurture dealt you a poor hand.
(Incidentally, the whole nature/nurture debate is based on a typographical error made by a nearsighted scribe in Vienna. Once the mistake was revealed, thousands of students already wrote their PhDs on this topic. By that time, it was too embarrassing and costly to correct the error.)
So instead of moping around asking “Who am I and why?” you can start asking yourself the question, “Who do I want to become and how.”
One of the most effective ways of doing this is changing your orientation towards time.
Here are some ideas:
Past:
Remember, whatever happened in the past is over. No one, especially you, cares “why” you the person you are. Past memories can be remembered in such as way to empower you in the future. Use the past to propel you forward into a brighter future. Or go watch an “ER” rerun. Your call.
Present:
Enjoy living in the moment. Use the virtual slow motion button in your head when necessary to enjoy the present. However, don’t do this while driving or operating heavy machinery.
Future:
A little future orientation can be healthy, as long as you don’t become as unstable as a surreal estate agent. Craft your future plans in a compelling way such that you become nostalgic about them.
Once you have done these things, your “why” questions will be transformed into the following “how” questions:
Why didn’t I get that job?
Becomes…..
How do I succeed at my present job, find another one, or start a business of my own?
Why did I sell those stocks?
Becomes…..
How can I build a diversified portfolio and create multiple streams of income?
Why does that man keep staring at my wallet?
Becomes…..
How can I handcuff him with his tie before he takes my money?
The time is now. The days of “why” are in your past and the era of “how” is about to begin. How can you afford to wait?
-- -- --
Ben Goldfarb was born and raised in El Paso, Texas, and is a graduate of the University of Texas at Austin. He moved to Israel in 1988. He is the founder and director of Paradigm Shift Communications. He has given seminars and training sessions at Israel Aircraft Industry and Philips Medical Systems. His book, "Double Feature: A Nostalgic Peek into the Future" will be published next year. He lives with his wife and children in Jerusalem. For more information about his coaching practice, visit the Paradigm Shift Communications website, or send an email to ben@pdshiftcoaching.com.
© Copyright 2008 by Ben Goldfarb
“Why” is often used to make excuses and overuse of the word can lull us into victim mode. Here are some typical why questions:
Why didn’t I get that job?
Why did I sell those stocks?
Why does that man keep staring at my wallet?
Why questions tend to be a complaint that either nature or nurture dealt you a poor hand.
(Incidentally, the whole nature/nurture debate is based on a typographical error made by a nearsighted scribe in Vienna. Once the mistake was revealed, thousands of students already wrote their PhDs on this topic. By that time, it was too embarrassing and costly to correct the error.)
So instead of moping around asking “Who am I and why?” you can start asking yourself the question, “Who do I want to become and how.”
One of the most effective ways of doing this is changing your orientation towards time.
Here are some ideas:
Past:
Remember, whatever happened in the past is over. No one, especially you, cares “why” you the person you are. Past memories can be remembered in such as way to empower you in the future. Use the past to propel you forward into a brighter future. Or go watch an “ER” rerun. Your call.
Present:
Enjoy living in the moment. Use the virtual slow motion button in your head when necessary to enjoy the present. However, don’t do this while driving or operating heavy machinery.
Future:
A little future orientation can be healthy, as long as you don’t become as unstable as a surreal estate agent. Craft your future plans in a compelling way such that you become nostalgic about them.
Once you have done these things, your “why” questions will be transformed into the following “how” questions:
Why didn’t I get that job?
Becomes…..
How do I succeed at my present job, find another one, or start a business of my own?
Why did I sell those stocks?
Becomes…..
How can I build a diversified portfolio and create multiple streams of income?
Why does that man keep staring at my wallet?
Becomes…..
How can I handcuff him with his tie before he takes my money?
The time is now. The days of “why” are in your past and the era of “how” is about to begin. How can you afford to wait?
-- -- --
Ben Goldfarb was born and raised in El Paso, Texas, and is a graduate of the University of Texas at Austin. He moved to Israel in 1988. He is the founder and director of Paradigm Shift Communications. He has given seminars and training sessions at Israel Aircraft Industry and Philips Medical Systems. His book, "Double Feature: A Nostalgic Peek into the Future" will be published next year. He lives with his wife and children in Jerusalem. For more information about his coaching practice, visit the Paradigm Shift Communications website, or send an email to ben@pdshiftcoaching.com.
© Copyright 2008 by Ben Goldfarb
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