Praying for a change

When we are in the middle of a difficult life situation, others often encourage us to have faith. When we want something very badly, we try to have faith that God will answer our prayers with a resounding "yes." While faith can be comforting, most of us can think of times in our lives when events turned out differently than we had anticipated. We can probably think of many times when our prayers weren't answered. What went wrong?

The answer may lie in the quality of our prayers. Our prayers are often answered to the same degree in which they were offered. In other words, if we believe that God is limited or that He will provide us with only a limited blessing, then that is what we will receive. If we believe in an omnipotent God who can bestow blessings on us without limit, then perhaps our prayers will be answered in the same way.

A few disclaimers are in order at this point.

* Each of our requests must be in line with the Torah. They must adhere to the highest degree of ethics and morals as dictated by the written and oral law.

* The request has to be something that is humanly possible. Finishing medical school at the top of one's class is within the reach of many people. Flying to the moon without the assistance of a spaceship is impossible for everyone.

* The request has to be considered along with its long-term consequences. Envision how your life might change after you are granted the request, and determine if the new situation is in the best interest of you and those around you. Your request will be denied if the consequences of receiving it don't serve the greater good, even if you have great faith.

* If the request requires action on your part, then don't expect results if you don't participate in the process. You can't sit back and wait for miracles to happen if your partnership is a component of the request.

* A "no" is the best answer for you, even though you may not see this immediately.

God wants the best for us. He listens to all of our prayers, even though He may not respond in the affirmative. Rather then losing faith, we can accept a "no" as a wake-up call to examine our own deeds, look at our request in a broader context, and continue our work of improving our interactions with others.

— — —
Ben Goldfarb was born and raised in El Paso, Texas, and is a graduate of the University of Texas at Austin. He moved to Jerusalem in 1988, where he lives with his wife and children, and divides his time between his yeshiva studies and his coaching practice. His life calling is to help others understand their personal mission and accomplish it with humor, creativity, and spirituality. For more information, visit his Paradigm Shift Communications website or send an email to ben@pdshiftcoaching.com . © copyright 2007 by Ben Goldfarb