BS”D
Jason was a model citizen,
dedicated husband and father, and insect rights advocate. Sensitive, kind, and
evolved, he always tries to do his best, even on bad hair days. Needless to
say, he was shocked when he received an audit from a Special Division of the
IRS.
He couldn’t believe it that he,
Jason Smythe, was being audited. He had a team of dedicated accountants fill
out his taxes each year. He rarely asked for tax refunds even though he was
entitled to them. Jason often felt his accountants were using loopholes and not acting within the spirit of
the law. An actuary by profession, he knew the power of numbers and that they
could be manipulated for the good or to make politician look good.
Jason was 30 minutes early for
his meeting at the IRS. He was ushered in immediately, was offered coffee,
which he refused, and waited for the dreaded audit to begin. He had all of his
paperwork, neatly organized in his briefcase, to defend himself.
The auditor came in. She was a
plain looking woman in her late twenties. She had a certain glow to her, but Jason couldn’t tell if it
was a touchy-feely glow, or the variety of glow that occurs before a nuclear
meltdown.
Here’s the
transcript of the dialog.
Auditor:
Good morning.
Jason:
It might be
a good morning for you, but not for me.
Auditor:
It’s not as
bad as you might think. This morning, and all mornings, are good.
Jason:
I find that
hard to believe, but go ahead and start. Will you notify my next of kin if I
don’t leave this building by nightfall?
Auditor:
Please try
to relax. It really isn’t so bad. In fact, as you will soon see, this is quite
good.
Jason:
Whatever.
Auditor:
So let’s
get started.
Jason:
I can’t wait.
Auditor:
This is actually
a spiritual audit.
Jason:
Excuse me?
Since when is the IRS interested in anything
besides my yearly check?
Auditor:
We are
taking a look at your spiritual inventory in general, and at your gratitude
deficit in particular.
Jason:
If this has
to do with my contributions to charity, I tithe my income every month.
Auditor:
We know that.
We know a lot about you, Mr. Smythe. Let’s start with your gratitude deficit.
Jason:
What are
you talking about?
Auditor:
During the
last fiscal year, you made over 12,000 requests to G-d and only thanked him for
25 of them that were granted to you.
Jason:
How in the
world would you be privy to such information, assuming that is even true. Are
you an angel or something?
Auditor:
How about
if I ask the questions around here?
Jason:
Ok.
Auditor:
So do these
numbers look correct to you?
Jason:
Well, they
seem a little exaggerated. On second thought, probably not too exaggerated.
Could I take you up on the offer of coffee now, or maybe so time-released
Quaaludes?
Auditor:
Yes, for
sure.
(The auditor picked up her phone and asked her assistant bring some refreshments.)
Auditor:
A gratitude
deficit begins when you make more requests than the number of times that you display
gratitude by saying thank you. Furthermore, when you receive a “no” or “not yet”
answer, you also have to say thank-you , because the answer you receive is
always the best for you.
Jason:
I see, or
I’m beginning to see. Is this going to affect my tax returns?
Auditor:
No, this is
going to impact your life in this world and in the world to come.
Jason:
(defeated) Okay.
Auditor:
It’s quite
simple really, and as an actuary, you should be able to grasp these concepts in
no time at all. You must thank G-d for everything that ever happened to you in
the past and for everything that is currently happening to you.
Jason:
Everything?
Auditor:
Yes,
everything. Everything that happens to you is for the best, whether you realize
it at the time or not. And furthermore, you have to say thank you in advance
for whatever will happen to you in the future, because that too will be for
your ultimate benefit.
Jason:
I am
beginning to see a pattern here.
Auditor:
There is a
pattern, and it is a perfect, Divine Pattern. What makes this challenging is
that human beings see this perfection through the prism of imperfect, finite
eyes. Trust in G-d, and you will have it all.
Trust in anyone or anything else, and you will live a life of misery.
This audit was a wake-up call and was in your best interest.
Jason:
What would
have happened had we not met today?
Auditor:
Your
financial situation would have started to mirror your gratitude deficit. Within
weeks, you and your family would be homeless.
Jason:
But I
thought that everything is for the good. Homelessness would have been for my
family’s best interest as well?
Auditor:
Correct,
but living on the street would be the type of good that is very difficult to
understand. If there is a way to generate more of the good that you understand
in your life, I am assuming that you are in favor of that, correct?
Jason:
Yes,
absolutely. So what do I have to do?
Auditor:
You can get
out of Gratitude Deficit rather quickly
by simply by saying thank you, over and over, for past, present and future
blessings. Get rid of your entitlement mentality, and don’t take anything for
granted. Say thank you for the seemingly big things and the seemingly small
things. They are all gifts, and sayings thank you is the least you can do in
return for being showered with 24/7 blessings.
Jason:
Okay. I’m
on the case. Thank you.
Auditor:
You are
welcome, but more important than thanking me, I would suggest thanking G-d,
just do it more often.
This blog was inspired by Rabbi Shalom Arush’s
book, Garden of
Gratitude. In the spirit of saying thank
you, I want to thank all of you in advance for helping me raise money for Yachad, a fine organization that helps physically challenged youth. I will be, G-d
willing, running the half marathon on March 1st. The link can be
found below. I also want to thank those of you who will choose not to sponsor
me. I understand your decision, whatever it might be, and know that this too is
for the best.
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